The News - If Today's Media Got Hold of These Biblical Stories...
By Adam Edelstein
Published on Facebook
December 3, 2009
* On Red Sea crossing:
WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed
* On David vs. Goliath:
HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock
* On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:
FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed
* On the birth of Christ:
HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple
* On feeding the 5,000:
PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior
* On healing the 10 lepers:
LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED
"Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy
* On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:
MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer's Investment Lost
* On raising Lazarus from the dead:
FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Will Reading to be Delayed
Showing posts with label Christian humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian humor. Show all posts
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
God Can... By Adam Edelstein (Posted on Facebook)
God Can...
By Adam Edelstein
Posted on Facebook
November 12, 2009
When you feel unlovable, unworthy and unclean, when you think that no one can heal you
Remember, Friend,
God Can.
When you think that you are unforgivable for your guilt and your shame
Remember, Friend,
God Can.
When you think that all is hidden and no one can see within
Remember, Friend,
God Can.
And when you have reached the bottom and you think that no one can hear
Remember my dear Friend,
God Can.
And when you think that no one can love the real person deep inside of you
Remember my dear Friend,
God Does.
By Adam Edelstein
Posted on Facebook
November 12, 2009
When you feel unlovable, unworthy and unclean, when you think that no one can heal you
Remember, Friend,
God Can.
When you think that you are unforgivable for your guilt and your shame
Remember, Friend,
God Can.
When you think that all is hidden and no one can see within
Remember, Friend,
God Can.
And when you have reached the bottom and you think that no one can hear
Remember my dear Friend,
God Can.
And when you think that no one can love the real person deep inside of you
Remember my dear Friend,
God Does.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Be Careful What You Wish For By Adam Edelsltein (Posted on Facebook To members of LAUGH ...ITS GOOD FOR YOU Group)
Be Careful What You Wish For
By Adam Edelsltein
Posted on Facebook To members of LAUGH ...ITS GOOD FOR YOU Group)
November 9
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed.
"Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balance the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor; ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night"
By Adam Edelsltein
Posted on Facebook To members of LAUGH ...ITS GOOD FOR YOU Group)
November 9
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed.
"Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balance the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor; ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night"
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